How to Start Living Intentionally in 7 Essential Steps

Realize who you are, decide where you want to be, allow yourself to follow that path, in essence – start living intentionally.

There’s something ironic about the way we’ve normalized the fact that we spend a huge amount of time deciding which pair of shoes to wear, to the wedding of some distant acquaintance; yet we feel really guilty if we stop and grant ourselves more then five minutes to think about what we truly want from life.

We get so used to our overloaded schedule that any interruption gives us the impression we are falling behind. However the day is near, when you’ll realize the distance between you and the life you want is called choices. 

Living intentionally means living according to your values and purpose.

It doesn’t happen overnight, you don’t have to suddenly turn your world upside down. Instead, move one tiny step at a time. A gentle stroll made of small decisions and adjustments towards where you want to be.

My journey started sitting at the dining table. I remember that evening well, as I found myself to blame for the umpteenth ready-made, defrosted dinner. I didn’t plan to treat my body nor feed my family that way. It was a mere consequence of being constantly drained at the end of each day. 

I kept telling myself things would settle in time, once I get that promotion or waiting for whatever might come next.
Nevertheless every evening, I was so worn out and stressed, that by the time I got home all I wanted to do, was fill my belly with anything and collapse on the sofa, in front of the TV. 

This performance lasted over a year and left me with no time, no energy and no space. My mind was so cluttered that signing a school report or making a phone call required such colossal effort. 

I desperately wanted my days to be different. When it dawned on me that things wouldn’t change, then I understood that I had to. 

The power of revelation! Thinking became clearer, I re-shuffled my priority list placing me, and the people I love, at the top! 

Each small change that I implemented to my lifestyle led to bigger ones. That first batch of tiny steps felt like a detox. Next, I felt recharged. My family meanwhile recharged with me. It felt terrific. 

Putting behind my unbalanced lifestyle took months and lots of work but it began with the understanding that no matter what, things wouldn’t change unless I purposefully made them change. 

1. A matter of choice

Think of that trip-of-a-lifetime, around-the-world holiday for example. Now, imagine that someone else will decide the timings, the pace, the stops, and the final destinations.  Yet it will be you paying all the costs and expenses. I bet you are thinking NO WAY!

There was no thinking twice, probably because of your certainty that no one but you has the right to make such decisions. 

Now let’s call that journey life. Should decision-making still be worth fighting for? Acknowledging that you can take control of your life is the necessary, basic step in forging a life from your priorities and beliefs and live intentionally. 

2. Dream new dreams

Mapping your life and giving yourself some direction towards what counts for you is crucial when making those adjustments and figuring out what gets in the way.

• Start identifying the main areas of your life: health, finances and wealth, career and business, relationship, free time and passions, personal development. 
• Write them on a piece of paper and consider how happy you are in each area of your life. Next, think about what’s wrong and what you would change.
• For each area, set the main goal, i. e. what you wish would happen in that area of your life. Having the bigger picture in mind of what you want to accomplish will give you something that you can break down into smaller targets.

Summon these small actions that can lead you to the bigger plan, incorporate these into a weekly and daily routine, ensuring you move towards your purpose. Get into the habit of achieving it.

For instance, take ‘relationship’; an area that requires practicality as well as attention, needing to be worked at every day as much as all the other ones. Unfortunately, due to fast-paced, hectic lifestyles, it is too often placed at the bottom of priorities. 

To have loving, trusting relationships with your significant others is the main goal.  Spending quality time with these people in your life is one of the ways to get there. Your smaller target would be creating opportunities to spend time together and connect. Examples include, having a lunch date every Tuesday with your partner, scheduling a dinner with your best friend every first Friday of the month, family cooking-together night on Thursdays and even Sunday morning strolls with dad.

When implementing changes, always consider how achievable they are realistically. Consider time frames. Most importantly though, consider what the impact will mean to you: will the benefit of your decision make you happier? At the end of the day, it’s all about what makes YOU happy and what matters to YOU ONLY! 

3. Set intentions, not resolutions

It’s essential to figure out what benefit each adjustment will bring to your life: losing the focus of why we do something is a big mistake. This is the reason why, often, the majority of people are not able to keep to good habits. Think of New Year’s resolutions or when deciding to go on a diet: most of those failures are based on lack of will power rather than lack of intention.

Knowing why we do something is the key. You don’t need will power to brush your teeth each morning, it’s just part of your 6 and you never question why it has to be done. 

That’s the attitude you should implement with your new changes; one day at a time, small action by small action, always thinking about what makes you happy. After all, life is made of days and how you spend those days is how you spend your life. 

In my journey, I discovered The Bullet Journal. An incredible practice to live more intentionally and be productive rather than busy.

4. Make room for happiness

Sometimes life feels swamped and crowded with things to do or simply – stuff. And before you know it, you start feeling like your home doesn’t have any more space for YOU. 

Clearing the overflow of paraphernalia literally means giving more space to you.

Clutter affects the way we feel and often we don’t even realize it until the day we start to let go of all our excess goods. 

Owning less and simplifying the layout of your home doesn’t have anything to do with going without or depriving yourself of the things you love. In fact, the opposite is true, it’s about making room and surrounding yourself with only those things. 

Having less stuff involves less work, fewer expenses and this means having more money in your pocket, more time and more joy. Be sure not to shift things around or move things out. 

A clear-out is an important first step in the organizing process. When you remove those items that you no longer require in your life it is so much easier to organize what remains. 

Decluttering will help you in a number of ways:

• You will learn to be more mindful of your purchases. 
  Coming to terms with the waste of money will teach you to be more careful about shopping. This will save you a noticeable amount of money that will help you fund your true passions and go towards such savings.

• You will need less time and energy to keep your house tidy.
  A house with less stuff in it, is one that requires less effort and time to clean, leading to peace of mind. 

• You will save time by being able to find things more easily.
  When we filter our possessions down to those things that we use and love, we can then find what we need more quickly, saving precious time. You will no longer need to fish around for your favorite white t-shirt in an overflowing closet. Quick and easy choices will be part of your new lifestyle. 

• You will perceive a happier mind-set.
  Decluttering might feel hard at the beginning but after you do so, it’ll inspire you with a renewed sense of confidence that comes with competence. This will lead you to implement other good decisions in your life. This sense of freedom and lightness can get you hooked! The process of removing piles of unnecessary items will lead you to detach from material possessions and will allow you to focus instead on people and experiences.

Are you ready to declutter your home? Read also How to declutter your home in 5 simple steps 

5. According to plans

Oh those frazzled mornings! The alarm clock goes off and you are paying the price for last night’s ‘one-more episode’ from the latest boxset. The snooze button is a dull comfort that you replay until you grab your phone, scroll your social media, followed by your inbox full of promotional emails.

The days of the week are 5,4,3,2 and 1 until Friday. The walk to the coffee machine is a pilgrimage while a loud ‘what do you want for breakfast?’ resounding from downstairs, followed by your attempt to gather what you need for the day. Let’s not even touch the ‘what are you wearing’ nerve!

The rest of the day is just a reflection of the morning. Sound familiar? 

Blame your busy life. However, now with intentional living, you can make things easier by creating a ritual that gets your morning off to a more positive start. 

A daily routine can help you feel more in control, keep to healthy habits and reduce stress. 

Having your head full of day-to-day life can be overwhelming. 

When we have a routine, a lot of the things we do, fit in automatically and we don’t have to think about them anymore. 

Having too many choices can be stressful: fewer options can surprisingly lead to better results. Implement morning and evening rituals, simplify your wardrobe, prep your meals, create a daily to-do list. Managing your time will allow you to build in time for the important things.

Check also 5 simple tips for your perfect morning routine. 

6. Be intentional about your health

Coming from a traditional Italian family where cooking and food = ‘I love you’, and where you tell what time of year it is by looking at the meals being prepared and consumed, passed down from generation to generation, food was definitely the trigger that got me started on my lifestyle journey into intentional living. 

I wanted to cook healthy meals for my family, I wanted to feel good, I wanted time and energy for doing what I loved. 

When you are struggling, it’s hard to find time for cooking or follow a balanced diet. Instead, you wonder if whatever you have in the fridge is enough to scrap-together a meal, or you end up hitting ‘Uber Eats’. 

Meal planning ahead can be a powerful tool for staying on track with your healthy eating habits.

In the beginning, it might seem like a lot to think about in one go but once it’s done it will save you so much time, money and stress. 

Having your meal ready will avoid you starting to cook, when it’s time to eat; because this often leads to poor eating choices and ‘snackcidents’ becoming serial. Always keep in mind that a healthy diet is not about eating less but about eating right. 

What does healthy eating mean? For me it’s simple: real and fresh ingredients, cooking from scratch, quick and delicious recipes, lots of whole foods and plant-based meals, reducing meat to once a week and some treats every now and then. It has made such a huge difference to my wellbeing and as a bonus, I lost 15 pounds without one day of ‘dieting’. 

Do you want to know more about meal prep? Have a look also at 10 reasons to start meal prep now.

A healthy and balanced diet is a dish that should always be served with eight glasses of water, eight hours of sleep and some exercise on the side. 

Just like healthy eating, it can be a struggle to stay consistent when it comes to exercising. I have been there too. Often, the reason why it’s hard to stick to physical exercise it’s because your workout schedule doesn’t fit your lifestyle. Before setting up a routine, ask yourself two important questions:

How many days can I exercise?

Some days, you’ll have more time and energy than other days. Reserve some time each week to schedule your workouts, choosing days you are sure you can exercise.

How much time do I have to exercise?

Be realistic. Think about how much time you really have rather than trying to create more time for a workout. You don’t need a whole hour to workout, 10 minutes of a proper work out is better than no workout at all.

Experiment and find workouts you enjoy. You don’t have to start a spinning program just because your colleague lost 10 pounds doing one. You have to find what suits you. Before choosing a program, consider the reasons why you couldn’t stick to exercising in the past,

perhaps you couldn’t fit it in your schedule? 

In which case, choose a less time-consuming one (for example HIIT or high-intensity interval training, is a fitness technique in which you exercise through quick, intense circuits followed by short, recovery periods. It is quite intense but can be done in 10 to 15 minutes). 

Did you get bored with it after the first two weeks? 

Maybe something that involves music and different movements each time, like Zumba for example. 

If you don’t like structured exercise classes, consider a new challenge like tennis, volleyball or ballroom dancing! 

My personal favorite program is such as Blogilates from Cassy Ho while my husband is very fond of Peloton. Whatever you choose, whether it’s working out at home, signing up for a gym pass or hiring a personal trainer – get the job done! 

Remember, a sustainable fitness routine means balancing your workout with your schedule, energy levels, and body. Cycling to work or walking your kids to school is a good way to slot in physical exercise, especially useful for those days you don’t have a dedicated slot. 

Exercise of any sort offers tangible benefits that enhance nearly every aspect of your health and your mood.

Whether you follow the guideline of 150 minutes a week or aim to walk 10,000 steps a day – physical exercise improves your health in many ways.

7. Save for a rainy day fund

Having an emergency fund means one less thing to worry about. When something unexpected happens like a car breakdown or leaking roof – having three to six months of wages tucked away is a relief. 

Budgeting is the key. Before considering money-saving tips,  you need a clear idea of your typical spending; where does your money go? Track down your monthly expenses including housing, utilities, groceries, debt payments and entertainment. Once you have done so (and probably cried a little over what could be in your bank account) think about the costs that could be brought down and how much this will save you on a weekly bases. 

I used to buy a takeaway cup of coffee on my way to work every morning but I wasn’t drinking coffee at all during my days off or holidays. It turned out that I didn’t like coffee too much, especially when justifying a spend of over $700 per year. In addition, I had a coffee machine at home so one adjustment could have been to use my refillable cup and take a coffee with me. 

However, if you feel that takeaway coffee has an unbeatable taste and it makes you happy to the point that you’d miss those five minutes enjoying it, well maybe you could look a bit further and cut down something less relevant for you.

Cutting down a few expenses every day can save you a small fortune at the end of the year.

At the end of the day, it’s not what you earn that is important but how much you have left in your hands! 

Once you have decided how much you can afford to put in your savings fund, think of it as a  bill that needs to be paid. Thinking of savings in terms of a bill will make you more likely to deposit that amount and build up your emergency fund. 

Automatic payment to your savings account can be a smart move: out of sight, out of mind!

You may want to read also why you need to save money on fast fashion

and invest in a timeless wardrobe and 7 deadly sins of every shopaholic.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Living intentionally means knowing your priorities and knowing your dreams.

It means asking yourself every day, what can you do to match your lifestyle to your priorities – to your dreams.

It means approaching every choice mindfully and being honest and true to yourself. 

The changes you make shouldn’t be the ones that are right for others but the ones that feel right for you. 

Focus on one area at the time to make sustainable changes. It is unrealistic and unnecessary to expect to change your life completely in one day. Some changes will require more time and work than others and keep in mind that it’s better moving 10 steps forward in one direction than one step in 10 directions. 

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